I left my heart in North Lake

43 days ago, my Father died. 35 days ago, we held his memorial. The funeral was beautiful. The military salute was something I won't soon forget. It dawned on me in the middle of that funeral service that everybody else thought my Dad was just as awesome I did. Everything hit me that day because I remember the entire week between his death and the funeral seeming like a fog. In fact, I hardly remember any of that week at all. How do you say goodbye to somebody that helped mold you into the person you are? And how do you say the final goodbye when you've said goodbye in so many ways, so many times in the year leading up to their death?

Well anyway, I did it. I said goodbye... again. And here I am, 43 days later. I made it. I have these moments of complete sadness. It's overwhelming at the time. But mostly, you kind of move through your days like nothing has changed. Time does heal all wounds and life does go on. Damn you, cliches, for being right.

I picked up my guitar the other day and started to play. Nothing fancy, just a little melody almost as a tribute to my Father, but mostly as therapy for me. I started to play a Willie Nelson number, 'You Were Always on My Mind'. It felt good. It felt good to play it, it felt good to hear it, it felt good to sing it (albeit quitely). But thee I was, saying it out loud. You were always on mind. I closed with YOU'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND.

I have so many exciting things to write about in the coming weeks. My business, my e-book, my trip to New York. And thank you, New York, for always healing my wounds. I will forever have such a special relationship with the City... for reasons I can not explain.

This blog post is a step forward. A step out of my sadness. A step out of the fortress I have built for myself these past couple of months. An expression of closure and a commitment to move forward. I will have sad days. I may even write about Dad or my music from time-to-time in the future but for now, forward is the only direction I can go. So, Dad... wherever you are please know you're always on my mind. But I definitely left my heart with you in North Lake the afternoon that you died.

Rest in peace, Pops.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jsonline/obituary.aspx?n=mark-edward-wisniewski-wiz&pid=155764842