Giving Thanks for Lessons

Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. It reminds me to do the one thing I should remember to do every day, which is to give thanks. I have so many wonderful things, opportunities and people in my life. I am lucky and I can never forget that or start to take it for granted. The minute I do, I begin to lose. When we take things for granted, these things eventually get taken away.

Being thankful doesn't always have to be about what you have. You can be thankful that you recognize what you don't.. The universe may give you a bad moment, or a bad day but that does not make a bad life. Everyone has troubles. Everyone makes mistakes.

You also should be thankful for lessons. They mold us and mature us. Life continually teaches me lessons whether through my own experiences and feelings about things and stuff, or through the experiences of those around me. Here is what I have learned lately:

Never chase. Be you, do your thing and work hard on your passions. The right people who belong in your life will eventually come to you, and more importantly, they will stay with you.

Cruel to be kind: People can be cruel, and sometimes they will be. People can hurt you and break your heart, and sometimes they will.  You MUST value yourself enough to choose to spend time with people who treat you the way you treat them and know your worth enough to choose to spend time with people who know your worth, too.

Open your eyes: What you see or feel in a relationship isn't always necessarily what the other person does. Recognize that and take a step backward. It is okay to protect yourself but more important to know your place. Sometimes the balance shifts. That's life.

Each day when you say thanks for the food in your refrigerator, the relationships in your life, the roof over your head... be thankful for the lessons you have learned as well. I promise you won't regret it.

Don't forget, during this Holiday season to let others know when they've done something that you're thankful for.

"I'll never forget how you stuck up for me. It meant a lot."
"That text you sent really made my day."
 

The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.

It's 2012. Birth control, really?

I think back on this election season. I have to start with this comment. We are indeed, a nation divided. I am happy it is over and /I am happy that the senseless bashing of human charcter can finally subside for at least 3 years. But where do I stand? Where do you stand? Anybody who knows me can say with certainty that I probably am the most socially liberal conservative around. They also know that I am all about small government, economic freedom and energy independence. So where do I stand? I like to say that I'm a conservative, but traditional conservatism these days is more Liberatarian. Will a Liberatarian win office? Not in my lifetime. So what do I believe in?

I had a thought last night, as I was hanging out with some girlfriends. I was thinking about our lives... very different lives. One has been married, divorced and has a grown child. The other, in a relationship with the same person essentially all of her adult life. And then there's me, I'm not going to birth any children of my own. I'm 40 for crying out loud. But it gave me pause to think about the Republican party, focussing so much time and energy on birth control in the primaries. It's 2012. Really? Here's how to polarize an entire species of females: talk about how you don't believe in birth control. Maybe you don't.... maybe you personally don't believe in birth control. Maybe you think it's bad... immoral. But in focussing on that topic, one that realistically you can't outlaw or ban, regardless of whether or not you win the election, you have managed to ostricize single women and married women alike. You have even made an enemy out of married men, who have Fathered all the children they want to have in their lifetime. It's hard as a conservative, middle-aged female to answer for that. And don't think I haven't had to. My girlfriends will ask me 'how can you support somebody who believes they have the right to tell me what is right for me?' It is almost unfair to leave me, your supporter, holding the bag for that one.

Don't worry. I haven't jumped ship. I still believe in all of the things that make me a conservative woman but how do I share this universe with people who can't see past bad ideas. Some people are easily offended... I mean, Women in Binders? It wasn't meant as an insult. I'm sure Obama has a Binder of Terrorists somewhere in the oval office. So people taking things out of context isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about bad ideas that offend entire groups of people. We have to be smarter if we want to win elections. We have to welcome people to understand our politics and our differences instead of alienating people for not being like us. ALL SIDES.

How do we find a way, as a nation to come together on some of these issues without abandoning our core, fundamental and individual beliefs?

A prayer for Mark

 

Since my Father's death, nearly 8 months ago, my Stepmom Nancy has taken some time to heal and also selflessly help take care of my niece and nephew to fill her days.

 

She is in Italy now. Taking a well-deserved and much needed trip. She has been communicating via text message and suffice it to say this is a trip she will not soon forget. Who am I kidding? This is a trip she will never forget.

 

The following is a text message she sent to my sister, Katie.

 

September 27:
Back on the bus. One of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. Had to climb a killer hill to get to the Archbishops residence. Waited in a reception room and he walks in. You could just feel that this was a holy man. He was wonderful.
Stayed with us for quite awhile talking and teaching us at the s...

ame time. Most of the women were crying halfway into it and even some of the men. Then he blessed us all. Then he offered to pose for pictures with us so I have that. As he was leaving and waving to us he reached out and took my hand! Oh Katie! I can't even describe that feeling. After he left we were to tour the rest of the house. I held back for a few moments to purchase some rosaries from a little nun there. Then I spotted devotional candles and thought I'd get one to bring home but the nun asked me if I wanted to light it and place it in their chapel. I instantly decided to do that and lit it for dad. I went in the chapel and was almost sobbing and I had to place it on the floor because the holders were full. Then I hurried to catch up to the group and took a bunch of pictures. Got to Pope John's bedroom which has all his furniture set up as it was in the Vatican when he died. The archbishop had told us to be sure and touch the bed because that was the bed he died in. As I was touching it another nun was telling us various stories about him and about when he died. I was crying through the whole thing along with some of the other women. He had said as he was dying that this bed was his altar and he offered himself as the victim for the unity of mankind. Wow, Fr Ken lost it a little at that one. As we left the bedroom I asked Gabriella to translate for the nun that I lit the candle for dad and had to set it on the floor and I wanted to be sure it would be safe there and not get too hot. Gabriella had tears as she told the nun. The nun goes to a desk and gets a slip of paper and a pen and tells me to write dads name and my prayer, my wish for him and I would then put it under the pillow on the bed!!! I don't know how I got through the writing of that prayer but I did. Then she took me back in the room and I put it under the pillow! I was openly sobbing by this point and Gabriella and a couple of the women helped me outside and as we got out there the sun was going down and the sky was golden! I can't even put it into words-I'm just feeling right now. Love you-more later or tomorrow.

 

How can you not get goosebumps thinking of that? How surreal is that experience? How blessed are we?

 

Dad, I miss you every single day. Love,

Carrie Ann

Father's Day 2012 - A Poem for Dad

I can't believe it's been 4 1/2 months since you have been gone, Pops. We still think about you every day. This will be our first Father's Day without you, but I will be celebrating it for you! XO

The Story of Dad

If I could write a story
And have the truth be told
It would be about my Father
Whose heart was made of gold

The story could be never-ending
But would not sufficiently say
How much I think about him
Every single day

I will still ask him for his guidance
I'm hurt but won't be sad
because he'll send me down the answers
And he'll always be MY DAD

The Poet's Way

My dear friend, Ken, wrote the following poem about me. It's beautiful and I wanted to share it here. Thank you, Ken.

The Joy of Whistling

In the lab
... When you were created
When you were named
When you were born
The Gods
Yes, the Gods
They whistled with joy

They dreamed of all you were
Love
Love in a body
Love in a human
Love with hands
Love with a mission

Authentic
Happy
Fun
Curious
Trusting—yes trusting
Loyal
Determined

And somehow
Powerfully alone
Yet connected
To love
To care
For others

In the lab
When you were created
When you were named
When you were born
The Gods
Yes, the Gods
They whistled with joy
At who you would become
As you threw off the chains
Entered the fullness of you
Embodied all they saw

Love in a body
Love in a human
Love with hands
Love with a mission
Just Love

I left my heart in North Lake

43 days ago, my Father died. 35 days ago, we held his memorial. The funeral was beautiful. The military salute was something I won't soon forget. It dawned on me in the middle of that funeral service that everybody else thought my Dad was just as awesome I did. Everything hit me that day because I remember the entire week between his death and the funeral seeming like a fog. In fact, I hardly remember any of that week at all. How do you say goodbye to somebody that helped mold you into the person you are? And how do you say the final goodbye when you've said goodbye in so many ways, so many times in the year leading up to their death?

Well anyway, I did it. I said goodbye... again. And here I am, 43 days later. I made it. I have these moments of complete sadness. It's overwhelming at the time. But mostly, you kind of move through your days like nothing has changed. Time does heal all wounds and life does go on. Damn you, cliches, for being right.

I picked up my guitar the other day and started to play. Nothing fancy, just a little melody almost as a tribute to my Father, but mostly as therapy for me. I started to play a Willie Nelson number, 'You Were Always on My Mind'. It felt good. It felt good to play it, it felt good to hear it, it felt good to sing it (albeit quitely). But thee I was, saying it out loud. You were always on mind. I closed with YOU'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND.

I have so many exciting things to write about in the coming weeks. My business, my e-book, my trip to New York. And thank you, New York, for always healing my wounds. I will forever have such a special relationship with the City... for reasons I can not explain.

This blog post is a step forward. A step out of my sadness. A step out of the fortress I have built for myself these past couple of months. An expression of closure and a commitment to move forward. I will have sad days. I may even write about Dad or my music from time-to-time in the future but for now, forward is the only direction I can go. So, Dad... wherever you are please know you're always on my mind. But I definitely left my heart with you in North Lake the afternoon that you died.

Rest in peace, Pops.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jsonline/obituary.aspx?n=mark-edward-wisniewski-wiz&pid=155764842

Dear Dad, Did I Ever Say Thanks?

Dear Dad,

Did I ever say thanks
for the toys you mended,,
for the games we played,
for all the songs we sang together,
for teaching me to play guitar,
for teaching me that lyrics are poems?

Did I ever say thanks
for the way you always
made a joke to cheer me up
when I was feeling down?

Did I ever say thanks
for the sacrifices you made
so that I could have and experience
things in life that you didn't?

What about the sacrifies that you made
for our country, our liberties and our beliefs?
Did I ever say thank you for that?
Did I ever tell you that I am beyond proud
of being a soldier's daughter?

Did I ever say thanks
to you for working so hard
to provide for your family?

Did I ever say thanks
for 'getting' me,
for appreciating my humor
for knowing what I was thinking
when I gave you that mischievious 'look'?

More importantly...
Did I ever say thanks
for the faith you have in me,
for always being there
when I needed you?

Did I ever say thanks
for always being proud of me
when I excelled...
And for helping me up
when I fell down?

Did I ever say thanks
for never passing judgment on me,
for accepting me exactly how I am?

Most of all,
Did I ever say thanks
for caring,
for being you,
for always doing the best you could?

Thank you, Dad.