I am 14,609 days old!

Today I am 14,609 days old. Tomorrow I turn 40 year old. As I sit here, I contemplate the concept that today is my last day of my 30s before I leap into the next decade of life. On the one hand, this transition feels non-eventful and a part of me wants to rage against the expectation that I should be feeling or doing something EVENTFUL. I have to wonder if birthdays are constructed to encourage people to go over the top so that we don't sit in wonder about the last year has taught us. But on the other hand, I know that if I don’t acknowledge this in a way that feels meaningful to me, I’ll regret it. Either way, tomorrow I turn 40 and I need to process that in a way that makes sense to me.

Afterall, this is my last day in the decade of my 30′s.I used to think 40 was really old..  In some ways, I don’t feel much older than I did when I was in my twenties. I mean, mentally I do and I have a more comfortable feeling now. Certainly in the last year my body has reminded me I’m not twenty any more. But me, myself, my soul... doesn’t feel old. Being the overly analytical and introspective type, nonetheless, this landmark birthday does make me think. What does it mean to turn 40? What does it mean to move into this new decade? I didn’t want to let this one go by without at least considering what it all means. What is the expectation of me? What is my expectation of it?

In the last 39 years, I have learned that life is beautiful, it comes with a variety of experiences that over time define who we are. I am not perfect, and never will be. But I am okay with that. I know who I am and, more importantly, I really love myself. Perhaps that is the best gift one can give themselves and it is even BIGGER than a tangible celebration.

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgment. ~ Benjamin Franklin